Bushranger Country Describes It Exactly
By L. W. LOWER
I am in the bushranger belt, I am informed.
The longer I sojourn in our country districts the more gullible I become.
I am convinced now that the only reason why the man from the bush bought the sundial from the Sydney Botanic Gardens was because he needed a sundial, and it looked like a bargain.
And anyhow, he borrowed the purchase price from the con. man who sold it to him.
That is why, when the local doctor points out to me the very tree where the terror of the ranges was hanged by the infuriated trooper, I just say: –
I believe there was a time when you could sell a farmer an egg-beater and assure him he could get 2BL on it.
Now I, the City Shrewdy, have been loaded with four fox skins – with the bullet holes carefully plugged up and brushed over – at a guinea a skin.
I have a suggestion for the Chief of Police.
Have the Consorting Act repealed and let the city shrewd heads loose in the country.
If they don’t come and give themselves up voluntarily, it will be because they are too ashamed.
But I will tell you something.
I am the best snooker, draughts, domino, and billiards player in the Monaro district.
I am also the best fighting man for miles around.
I am keeping this to myself, however.
Jealousy may rear its ugly head.
Wanted To Sell
This pearl of wisdom I pass on to any adventurous young man who thinks of packing his manicure set and leaving Darlinghurst for life:
Don’t try to give away a 2/6 fountain-pen as a token of goodwill. You will immediately become suspect.
Charge 45/ for it.
Accept 6/ as a deposit, spend 1/ of it in shouting the purchaser, and then go somewhere else.
I have this from a man who is now touring the country on his way to Victoria.
He has his own car.
And, may the saints forgive me, I bought a fourpenny self-propelling pencil from him for 3/6 before he left town. I have some delightful fox skins I wish to dispose of, as I am leaving the country.
No offer sneered at.
I wish I was back in Darlinghurst, where you know what to expect.